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Thesis help please!

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KITT2008's picture
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Thesis help please!

I'm writing an essay on how Britains 'salutary neglect' influenced the devolpment of American society, and I've written this thesis:

The British policy of slautory neglect furthered the devolpment of legislative bodies, commercial practices, and religious ways, allowing America to assert it’s independence.

Is this an acceptable thesis? Or does anything need to be improved?

Thank you,
Kyo-San.

Some people have a way with words.
Others not have way.

:D Proud to be a Furry!!!! :D

xenahorse's picture
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I think that it'll definatly work. You might want to change your spelling of salutory, though:D


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pianogirl2422's picture
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Agreed. And watch the spelling of development as well...

[=RoyalBlue][=Comic Sans MS]
"I refuse to prove that I exist," says God, "for proof denies faith, and without faith I am nothing."
"But," say Man, "the Babel fish is a dead giveaway, isn't it? It could not have evolved by chance. It

KITT2008's picture
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Thanks, guys, and yeah.... I can have spelling issues sometimes. =^.^=

Some people have a way with words.
Others not have way.

:D Proud to be a Furry!!!! :D

xenahorse's picture
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Hey, I compleatly understand....get it?


The hardest thing about riding horses is the ground
[CENTER][IMG]http://i29.photobucket.com/albums/c295/xenahorse/Photoshop%20Fun/Ed_Ein_...
[=1]Made by moi^:D[/

Shadow's picture
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xenahorse wrote:Hey, I compleatly understand....get it?

no :P

GoPunchRocks's picture
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WOAH! hold everything.
Quote:
The British policy of slautory neglect furthered the devolpment of legislative bodies, commercial practices, and religious ways, allowing America to assert it’s independence.

Although that thesis is three pronged, thats not goign to get you that 9 on the AP essays. You need something with more powerful language and most teachers want to see you take a stand on the issue, there is No analysis in ur thesis so u need to make up for that elsewhere.

xenahorse's picture
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Shadow wrote:no :P

....I spelled completely wrong....or was that sacrasm?


The hardest thing about riding horses is the ground
[CENTER][IMG]http://i29.photobucket.com/albums/c295/xenahorse/Photoshop%20Fun/Ed_Ein_...
[=1]Made by moi^:D[/

pianogirl2422's picture
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It's Shadow, so it must be sarcasm lol.

[=RoyalBlue][=Comic Sans MS]
"I refuse to prove that I exist," says God, "for proof denies faith, and without faith I am nothing."
"But," say Man, "the Babel fish is a dead giveaway, isn't it? It could not have evolved by chance. It

aznkill49's picture
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Joined: Sep 2007

HEY i need help for writing a thesis for chapter 5 american pageant 13th edition...!!! pls...

Durandal's picture
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KITT2008 wrote:I'm writing an essay on how Britains 'salutary neglect' influenced the devolpment of American society, and I've written this thesis:

The British policy of slautory neglect furthered the devolpment of legislative bodies, commercial practices, and religious ways, allowing America to assert it’s independence.

Is this an acceptable thesis? Or does anything need to be improved?

Thank you,
Kyo-San.

You Definitely need to watch that spelling, as that is expected considering this is an AP class. It's my first year in an AP class, but I've got a strong background in spelling, grammar and such, so I'm pretty good with such things. Another thing to remember: "it's" is a contraction of "it is," so you need to use "its" as a possessive.

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