So a question for anyone who has been in a serious relationship at one point in their life. Did any of you have that moment when you realized that it was in fact serious and you freaked out a little? how long did that take you to get over that? because my group of friends was debating this and said that guys take longer to commit than girls because girls always want relationships, but i dont always think thats true...any thoughts?
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"Its not easy to be a poet here. Yet I sing. We Sing' - The Exhonerated
I didn't get cold feet, but one of my exs did (or at least I think she did). After we were going out for 4 months, we were doing really well then we go home for winter break for a month. When we get back, shes completely different and we end up breaking up a few weeks later. Took me by surprise completely. I think she just freaked out because we were getting more serious and she had a lot on her plate already (school, family, etc)
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I've freaked out a few times actually, in the seven months I've been dating my guy. Our relationship is quite serious, and every once in a while when I realize this I start to get scared. It doesn't usually take me long to get over it though, because I just simply tell my boyfriend that I'm a bit freaked out and he reminds me I have nothing to worry about. I think about how much I love him and how I can't imagine my life without him, even making a list if that doesn't work. The committment phobia that some men have corresponds to their maturity level, I think. Women are generally more mature than men, thus more willing and ready to be in relationships. Men have this biological drive to date and procreate with many women, while women's biological drives tell them to just be with one guy. It all dates back to cavemen times. Anyway, all men are different. Some may be quicker to commit than others...
well, in the 2 years and a few months i've been with my guy...i've freaked out for the past few months cause he got his family and friends involved with our relationship...and i guess i'm kind of scared of having a serious relationship like this..
but then again, i like him so much and i know that he likes me back...i guess the good times cancel out all the moments that i freak out cause we're still so strong together. ^_^
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yeah, i totally understand that i acutally my boyfriend and i dated for about 4months my sophomore year and i broke up with him over summer because i just got scared of getting serious but we got back together our jr year and have been going out for a year and 3months and i've never been in a better relationship. I just think its curious that when you realize a relationship is getting serious, you freak and realize that "wait, this is this only person i get to be with right now, im not just dating around....ect" those kind of thoughts and how with guys it seems to take longer to wear off than it does in girls.
"Its not easy to be a poet here. Yet I sing. We Sing' - The Exhonerated
laVieBoheme;68595 wrote:yeah, i totally understand that i acutally my boyfriend and i dated for about 4months my sophomore year and i broke up with him over summer because i just got scared of getting serious but we got back together our jr year and have been going out for a year and 3months and i've never been in a better relationship. I just think its curious that when you realize a relationship is getting serious, you freak and realize that "wait, this is this only person i get to be with right now, im not just dating around....ect" those kind of thoughts and how with guys it seems to take longer to wear off than it does in girls.
i think that's because we're scared of being with one person for the rest of our life and that maybe we haven't gotten to see everything that's out there.
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Yeah, it is funny how guys are usually the ones to freak out but most of this thread has been dominated by women. Guess men just don't want to talk about their freakouts, lol. Girls don't always want a relationship, but I think they're more okay with being in a serious relationship because they do crave that stability and closeness. Anybody disagree?
not me. we do want that, well okay at least i do that. but i will say that this is the first time that i passed the freakout phase and made it into a real relationship. I was a commitmentphobic for the longest time, i never really lasted in a relationship for more than three or four months becuase i would freak and bolt out, so i totally get when guys do that, but i guess it takes so maturity and so faith that you should see where the relationship takes you ya know?
"Its not easy to be a poet here. Yet I sing. We Sing' - The Exhonerated
flagstones925 Yeah, it is funny how guys are usually the ones to freak out but most of this thread has been dominated by women. Guess men just don't want to talk about their freakouts, lol. Girls don't always want a relationship, but I think they're more okay with being in a serious relationship because they do crave that stability and closeness. Anybody disagree?
I agree with you...I mean, as a girl, I really want to know that I am with someone that will be there for me no matter what. I know it may sound selfish, but I love to know that there will always be this certain person at home waiting for me to walk through the door. well, I'm not exactly at the "let's live together" phase nor will I be anytime soon, but you know what I mean right? kinda sorta? :D and plus, guys usually don't talk about how they really feel in order to feel masculine and more RAWR, but hey men are still human...guys I know only confide in people that they know real well, mainly me...haha...but just as long as they know there's someone who wants to be a friend to them then it's fine...
I hope I made sense everyone...if I didn't you can pm me and I'll explain...or post here...anything goes with me.. ^_^
byee and take care everyone!
by the way, congratulations, lavieboheme, I'm so happy for you. Best wishes to you and your relationship!!
[=2][I][=Comic Sans MS]Smile and stay happy, there'll always be someone out there that's waiting to care for you. Even when life gets hard, all you have to do is try even harder!
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lol i dotn know about other people but i understand you :) and thanks btw we are really happy. And i get what you said about guys not wanting to "talk" about their feelings and all but i guess becuase besides my boyfriend all our guy friends treat me as totally one of them, i mean to the point of them telling me too much about somethings i dont want to know...gah.... i think it just depends on the relationship you have with the guy be it platonic or not because like you said they just need to feel comfortable i guess. then again i have really open friends and we are all blunt and alittle crazy so maybe its just us ya know? lol
"Its not easy to be a poet here. Yet I sing. We Sing' - The Exhonerated
I don't think it's just you, lavieboheme. I mean I'm just like that with my guys too...haha, i just click easier with guys..girls usually cause too much drama! >_< and it's so awrward talking to girls sometimes, they say that guys can be so shy; yet, when i talk to them, they're the most outgoing people you can ever meet!
and to what you said about being blunt and a little crazy, you aren't weird...er maybe, i'm just weird too since me and my friends are the same way! haha, btw, i'm so happy for you!! I'm very glad to hear that you are happy. ^_^ congrats!!
[=2][I][=Comic Sans MS]Smile and stay happy, there'll always be someone out there that's waiting to care for you. Even when life gets hard, all you have to do is try even harder!
[=Teal]Work hard, but let's play h