I posted a thread a long time ago about some girl help. However, the situation completely changed. I planned on asking her out after prom because I couldn't go to prom. I tried to just show her that I was there for her etc. and make it apparent that I wanted to be with her. Last week, she confronted me about liking her, and I told her the truth, including the part about asking her out. I then asked her how she felt about everything and she told me that she only considered me as a friend. That really hurt, and I saw it coming, but I guess that I was just being naive and blind. The part that hurts the most is that she is like really crazy about another guy and hangs out with him 24/7. He likes her too, but he is hesitant about dating her because of college. In the midst of this, I feel like our old, strong friendship started to crumble. We don't talk as much anymore and I just really miss all the times where we mindlessly used to stay up late at night chatting about the stupidest things. I just don't really know what to do. We are kind of fine for the most part in person, but it isn't the same. We told each other that our friendship wouldn't change, and I don't want it to. She knew that I liked her a really long time ago, but we got even closer during that time. Now that she has started to befriend this guy and his friends, we are just drifting apart. It really is painful and it's affecting me a whole lot, socially and academically.
What I'm trying to ask is how can I get over her, and yet renew our friendship? And how can I stop thinking about all of this. It is reallyl tearing me apart and I feel like total crap.
awww mann..dude..just reading that..man. i seriously feel what your saying..im really sorry, that sucks..
id have to say the best way to get over it though is to go through with what you guys said. cuz you told each other it wouldnt affect the friendship, so the best way to get past it is to beleive your words. i know that if you can just do that and get past it (probably not very quickly, but hopefully soon) then thisll all just be something thatll drift into the past that you guys will just look back on and it wont be a big deal. as for this other dude though..yikes! i really dont know what do about him..but from here it sounds like hes causing problems, most lkely inadvertently, but if i saw another dude with a girl i seriously liked..idk..it would just be bad..anyway though, i hope this advice helped a little. think of these words though, your thoughts and emotions, theyre yours, and you can control them. basicallly, you are in charge of your inside thoughts and feelings, if you can tell yourself what you want to do and how you want to feel then thats how itll be. we all have trouble with emotions, but i suppose its how you deal with the negativity that matters. thats what i got.
Straight Edge --
xXx
For Life
yo, don't worry about the other dude. if she likes him there is nothing you can do anyway. plus, if you do confront him or something she will probably just think you are very imature and stupid. just a guess but i don't think girls like imature, stupid guys (that's probably why i don't have a girlfriend). as far as getting over her, i got no easy way to do that and i don't think there is one. just try to live with it and it will go away eventualy. i personaly recomend music. if you play an instrument play more (i don't write my own stuff so i just find a song i think fits the situation and try to learn it) and if not just listen to stuff you like. it will help take your mind off the whole thing when you are just lying there (usualy the worst time because you cant really stop yourself from thinking about it because there is nothing else to think about.) if that doesn't help try video games or something else to keep your mind busy.
all in all, it's just another brick in the wall...
I took: AP US Hist, AP Stats, AP Chem
I am taking: AP Calc, AP English, AP Phsics
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
Ya, I've been trying to think positively, but every time we hang out, or atlesat try to, she has been really distant. I really wish that our friendship could be the way it used to be, but it isn't really helping since she is hanging out with that guy all the time. I don't plan on confronting that guy because he will make her happy, and that is allt hat I want for her. It really sucks that this had to happen with the first girl that I've ever loved. And yes, I want to use that word because I believe it's true, for me at least.
I think you should talk to her and tell her flat out you know..."whatever makes you happy, makes me happy"...and just tell her you're there for her. that way,sshe knows your happy for her...i think that might help?
music4life called that one very accuratley. be carefull how you say something like that though because you don't want to come across as sullen or depressing, just honest. as far as calling it love goes, that is really something for you to decide and no one can tell you whether it is or isn't. just don't say that around her because i gurantee that it will make you seem like you are still trying to get something that right now can't happen and probably make things more awkward. the other thing to keep in mind is that people do change, as do the relationships between them. i think it is unlikely that your relationship will ever go back to "the way they were before" but as long as she knows you care about her (in the friendship sence, not the romantic sence) things will work out in the end.
all in all, it's just another brick in the wall...
I took: AP US Hist, AP Stats, AP Chem
I am taking: AP Calc, AP English, AP Phsics
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
Well, lately, our friendship isn't as strong and close as it used to be. She seems really annoyed with me. She said that she was sorry on Wednesday because she felt like she was being mean to me, but today, she still was a bit hostile. She has a whole lot on her mind at the moment, and she is really tired of highschool. That's what she told me. Anyway, I want to talk with her about it, but when we talked on Wednesday, she kinda blew it off. I am sad that our friendship isn't what it was, and I was wondering how I could fix that.
well you seem to be doing everything you can to fix that friendship. it is really up to her at this point. give her some space but let her know that if she ever wants to hang out or just talk you are there. this lets her know that she can take some time to sort things out but that you still want to be friends.
all in all, it's just another brick in the wall...
I took: AP US Hist, AP Stats, AP Chem
I am taking: AP Calc, AP English, AP Phsics
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
reading this I can't help but feel that I know you... that I actually go to the same school as you lol... anyways I went through the same exact thing as you (right down to the prom situation), and the key is to put her off to the side, go after another girl, and then the awkwardness will disapear because she wont have to worry about you flirting with her. I did this same exact thing and now I'm closer to her than ever before. you have to be her friend, want to be her friend, be the nice guy that is always there for her and things will work out in the end
How could one such as myself answer such a question without so much as a second glance?
Well the thing is that she never felt awkward around me before. She asked me back in October if I liked her, and I told her yes. We even joked around about me liking her. We still hung out like normal friends after that, and everything was two sided. I mean that we both invited each other to spend time with each other, but lately (the past month) I seem to start all the conversations in real life and AIM, and she is becoming a bitter person. I don't really know what to do in these situations. Ya, I'm starting to get a bit repetitious, but I really need the help because her friendship means a lot. Even if I don't see her as a love interest, I still care about her and the relationship that we had.
look man, i feel for you. but sometimes you have to admit that you have done all you can. like i said before give her some space and let her know the door will always be open. also, ask yourself, if she is really becoming a bitter person and you are the one starting all the interaction between you two...do you really want to be friends wirh her? i know it is a really hard question because i have had similar things. i was best friends with three guys for eight years (we hung out pretty much everyday) and we don't talk anymore because we just ended up going our seperate ways. i tried to stay in touch for a while but after a while i was the only one trying...so i just stopped. things like that just happen sometimes and although they suck, there is not much anyone can do.
all in all, it's just another brick in the wall...
I took: AP US Hist, AP Stats, AP Chem
I am taking: AP Calc, AP English, AP Phsics
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
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