I have these weird feelings that I must describe in order to understand what am I really thinking. I am a Boy, 16 and a junior in highschool. I have had only one girlfriend in middleschool but I considered it more like a mall friend. The ones you go to the dance with because she asked you after you rejected 2 of her other friends. I consider that I have had no serious relationships in my life. Now I must go back in time further and tell you a story. It was 6th grade and I really liked this girl (i'll call her girl1). I stalked her after school to find where she lived and I still know where she lives even today! Well, as most of us know that people are usually giddy for gossip, I was asked who I liked. I hesitated and distrusted the kid who asked me. But he falsely reassured me that he would not tell anyone. I decided to tell him that it was girl1. Well, right away he was ready to tell her at lunch. So when lunch came around I decided to hide away from girl1 and the evilkid and avoid them for as long as I could. Well, I was furious because it was my right to ask girl1 if I wanted to and if I was ready. Girl1 ended up going to the same middle school as I did later on (6th grade is grade school). I always thought about her but didn't quite know if she was right for me. THen i get my **mallfriend** blah blah fastfoward... I am free. I end up like a new girl (girl2) in addition to girl1. I go to highschool and forget about girl2 and still think about girl1. As sophmore year passes I run into girl2 with 2 classes in a row. I had chem 1 H with her and algebra 2H with her. In chem there was this calculator on the teachers desk that had to be from the 80s and it was meant for students to see the calculations as the teacher typed away. Well it was a reflective surface that i could see her and a new girl (girl3) that I liked. I tried to sit next to girl2 in my alg2H class to try to socialize and I thought what the heck, because I knew no one in the class. Of course with my deep voice I am softspoken and I didn't fit in too well. So later on girl2 gets a boyfriend and it has lasted for about 2 yrs. I respect the guy who she is with and was a friend of mine that I just didn't hang out with at all. He is a romantic guy and i see that if I were ever to get with girl2 I would have to raise the bar or equal it on my first relationship. THe weird thing is that my paths always seemed to cross and I always saw him with girl2. THis year (junior year) I have only one class with her and he is still girl2. I still cross paths and I see her looking at me but it doesn't seem like what I want it to be. Girl3 is a person I know through a friend and would like to be with her but it seems to me that my natural tendency would just to be friends with girl3. Tell me what you think about this. If you need any clarification just post and I'll check it within a day or week. Figure me out.
Figure me out.
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