Friends Are…
Makuhari.T
My original aim had been to write about friends, ‘setting apart the loyal…to the not so loyal ones.’ But when I had signed up for a writer and had the topic in mind, there was no doubt that I had meant to write during my embittered moments, where disappointments and distrust were all that circled my head day in and out- ever in need of ventilation where I would detail the bad things my bad friends did and the good things the good friends did. But of course, like all human emotions, my bitter phase also passed (and I could blame the people assigning the topics- but I shan’t because I don’t want to be booted as an article writer!)
However, I’ll still write about the original topic with a different take on it.
The dictionary defined ‘friends’ as ‘those you know well and regard with affection and trust.’ But when I really thought about it, I had very few friends whom I actually knew, let alone regard with affection and trust. You might disagree with your life, well that’s all well and great, but some of you might actually pause and think- how many of them do you discuss your personal life with aside from homework and the latest trends? How many do you openly share your beliefs about politics and religion? How many do you seek after when they’ve moved schools?
It’s not to say that if you don’t do any of these things it means you’re not friends- for friendships are also for about half part of it, purely chemical too (that’s probably why some people can just sit together and not exchange words and still be friends). Acquaintances are easy, friendship a tad bit hard and lasting friendships harder.
When I look back at my junior year (perhaps my toughest year where reality decided to shatter my rosy view of the world), I was sure if I ever thought of anything quite wrongly about it was about friends and friendships. It seemed that I expected friends to be static, always trustful, always funny, always something etc. But in reality it is not so. In fact, what you might think is funny one day may not be another. Who you thought would always sit next to you might one day decide to sit somewhere else in class, go off somewhere else lunch time and hang with different people even the ones you regard with great distaste.
The funny thing is. Once your head starts to clear, you can’t really blame anyone. A person isn’t wrong to welcome people into their lives- it’s what makes us grow after all. And at the time it might matter that Kate hung out with Jolene instead of you, or that she dated your ex- but in the end a person realizes that pointing fingers is easy, however it also doesn’t make the case any better for anyone. If anything it’ll just make you even more bitter and angry at the end.
How else should I put this? I suppose friends are really just people after all that are designed to test your character. There will be those that’ll let you down when you need them, or those that do an act that compel you to feel betrayed. But when you look at your side, you’ll find that after all the tears and embittered moments, you’re actually all right as long as you know that you’ve been good on your part. You’ll find your dignity when you remember that time you resisted the urge to yell at her, or that time that you invited her to hang with you, the opportunity to spread a gossip about him you quelled and even more to smile when she glared at you.
It’s funny to say that when someone said ‘Friends make out who you are’ they didn’t mean your ex friends too.
