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Don't want to be mean

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APUSH1989's picture
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Joined: Sep 2006
Don't want to be mean

Ok. So I HATE being mean to people. My friends tell me that I am often too nice, but that is just how I am. I can't help it. There is this kid in my youth group that really likes me. He's a freshman and I'm a junior. I don't like him like that and I have told him that, yet every time we are ever alone together he tries to pull something with me. I have told him that there is already a guy in my life and he still doesn't get the hint. I have told him that we are just friends and that was all that I was willing to be. He is a very touchy feely guy and it makes me uncomfortable. He thinks that he can just take advantage of me because he is stronger than me, and that's not going to happen. There is not much else that I can say to him without completely telling him off. I haven't told my friends about what he tries to do because I am too embarassed. All of my friends from church are guys and I just don't feel like I can talk to them about this. I think that I will just have to tell him that we can't even be friends anymore.

pianogirl2422's picture
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Joined: Mar 2005

I know you feel. I'm the same way hating being mean to people (hence my inability to say no to most things asked of me), but when a guy just won't take the hint, you've got to stand your ground. I know it's hard, but you have to make sure the message gets across or you could end up in a bad position, and an embarrassing one perhaps. If you ever want to talk, feel free to instant message me. I'm free to give advice or to just be someone who'll listen to what you have to say and not tell anyone. Everyone needs something like that sometimes whether they admit it or not.

I wish you luck with this, I know it's a hard situation for someone like you.

[=RoyalBlue][=Comic Sans MS]
"I refuse to prove that I exist," says God, "for proof denies faith, and without faith I am nothing."
"But," say Man, "the Babel fish is a dead giveaway, isn't it? It could not have evolved by chance. It

actr38's picture
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Joined: Mar 2007

Also, I know it may be uncomfortable...but talking to your guy friends about it may help. Guy friends are good at getting other guys to back off! ;)

AdminChris's picture
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Joined: Jan 2005

I would suggest talking to one of the guys that you feel closest to and having him talk to the guy that won't leave you alone. They might be able to get the point across to the guy better than you at this point so that you don't need to really tell him off as you said

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APUSH1989's picture
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Joined: Sep 2006

Thanks everyone. I will probably talk to my pastor's son about it. He is like my brother. I am just afraid that he might hurt the other guy because he is so protective of me. He told me that I was the only person that he was really close to and he could tell me anything. Awwww. I felt so special. I am just worried about the freshman's health because when my friend says something he might get hurt. Oh well!

pianogirl2422's picture
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lol, when you talk to him just tell him not to hurt him too badly.

[=RoyalBlue][=Comic Sans MS]
"I refuse to prove that I exist," says God, "for proof denies faith, and without faith I am nothing."
"But," say Man, "the Babel fish is a dead giveaway, isn't it? It could not have evolved by chance. It

What's picture
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Joined: Mar 2005

There's a difference between being nice and tolerating being pushed around. Stand your ground and tell him to back off. Tell your closest guy friend what's going on and ask him to talk to the guy if it continues.

I know it's hard, but if he's making you feel uncomfortable, tell him.

If you ever need to talk to somebody, please feel free to talk to me, advice, just to talk, whatever ya need.

CoURTeSEY08's picture
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Joined: Sep 2006

I don't mind being mean to people at all. I'm often nice though. But if i feel that something is wrong, i would tell them right away because if i don't, things will get worse and the uncomfortness would last. I want to be as honest as i can. And whenever i tell the truth, unless it's really mean, i feel good in return and i guess i'll make the other person feel good to cuz then they can change their behavior.

bubblez's picture
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Joined: Oct 2006

Just tell him really nice to back off. It is really effective to yell in thier face. Act like how you fell frusterated. He just might be a little dense and it isn't getting through. This way your not being mean, just mad, theres a really big difference. And I'm with everyone else, tell your closest guyfriend, that normally solves the problem. I'm routing for you, I know its hard.

Gwino's picture
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Joined: Oct 2007

check it yo...
its great to be nice, thats rare these days. but its his problem, not yours, if he doesn't get the hint that he's stuck in the "friend Zone" (lmao, sorry, needed comic relief). him being a freshman might account for his immaturity. im sorry tho that you cant talk to your church homies about this, you should be able to confide in your brothers in christ the most. even talking to an adult would be good. but if its so uncomfortable that you cant be friends, then cut it off. a real friend wouldnt keep doing this to you.
good luck =]

get busy livin' or get busy dyin'
if the #13 is unlucky, then 12 & 14 are guilty by association :P

EvilPopTart361's picture
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Joined: Nov 2007

honestly if i was you if he didnt get the point the first time, i would have slapped him for touching me a second. but since he wont leave you alone i would tell the bf about it. that will put an end to it real quick. and i agree about Gwino's quote on his freshman immaturity.

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